"Shoot The Guido." What MTV Has Wrought

Imagine walking along a seaside boardwalk with your children, the smell of the ocean mixing with roasted clams, pizza and French Fries wafting through the air. Wayfaring causally past amusement stands, one of the barkers holding a gun invites your children to play a game of skill.  He yells out the name of his boardwalk memory-maker:

“Shoot the nigger!”

“Shoot the kike!”

“Shoot the spic!”

“Shoot the chink!”

Of course, that couldn’t happen.  While the stereotypes that created those vulgar epithets aren’t wiped out, they’ve become taboo words in popular culture, and we make a pariah of anyone caught using them or similar words. Think Mel Gibson and Jeremiah Wright.

But “Shoot The Guido” is real.  It exists on the Seaside Heights, NJ boardwalk.  People are encouraged to fire a gun at a real man in a rubber suit designed to look like the pop-culture version of the bastardized Italian-American; the stereotype.

Just what is meant by the term "Guido"? It defines a lifestyle where steroid muscles are good, fake orange tans are better and fistfights, club dancing and casual sex with strangers is more important than jobs. Proper enunciation is a low priority.

The problem is that "Guido" is a quintessentialy Italian name, but most people in that lifestyle are not Italian, so our ethnicity gets the unfair stereotype.

No town in America would allow an amusement stand that encouraged people to shoot at another ethnicity, but Seaside Heights, NJ has done it to Italians.

When the barker singled out my son and pestered him to play, I said, “No thanks, we’re Italian.  We find it offensive.”  The barker replied, “But I’m Italian!”  I wondered why he didn’t understand that made it worse, not better.

He persisted by telling me, “Spanish guys have been taking over Italian style, so you can pretend you are shooting a Spanish guy.”  Apparently in his mind, there was a bigot lurking in me somewhere.  I just needed the proper orientation. 

For years Italian-Americans have protested that there is a double standard in popular culture that allows stereotyping of Italians, where that same treatment of any other group would be frowned upon.  Is any more proof of that double standard needed than the existence of “Shoot the Guido” for family entertainment?

While the movie “The Godfather” started it all, MTV’s show “Jersey Shore” has made the problem undeniable.

Before The Godfather, Hollywood movies about mobsters reflected the reality that every ethnicity had organized criminals.  Dutch Shultz, Bugsy Segal and Meyer Lansky were Jews. Dion O’Bannion and Bugs Moran were Irish. Of the Midwest Crime wave including John Dillanger, “Pretty Boy” Floyd, “Baby Face” Nelson, “Ma” Barker, Bonnie & Clyde and “Machine Gun” Kelly, none were Italian. Yet because The Godfather was so acclaimed, more than 400 feature films have been made since, where the mobsters are just Italian, despite the historical inaccuracy.

And if an Italian is portrayed in movies, television or commercials and he isn’t a criminal, he’s a dolt and clown.  Think of the character Joey Tribbiani from “Friends.”  Guido never goes to college (in Hollywood, at least).

The Italians who play these parts – DeNiro, Pacino, etc., are the modern day Stepin Fetchit.  The black actor Lincoln Perry who played Fetchit didn’t have many options, but James Gandolfini did, so he shouldn’t have.  The popularity of “The Sopranos” doesn’t justify its creation or airing.  Stepin Fetchit was very popular in its day, but would anyone seriously argue that its popularity justified the damage it did in creating the “shufflin’ negro” stereotype in the American psyche? 

Would HBO remake “Stepin Fetchit” today?  They wouldn’t risk the public opprobrium from the insult to black people.  But they won multiple Emmy awards for the same insult to Italians with “The Sopranos.”  Double standard.

The Italians who embrace the stereotype justify it by claiming, “I knew guys like Soprano back in the old neighborhood.”  No you didn’t.  You’re lying.  You knew no one so disgustingly immoral.  You knew no one who killed weekly, let alone killed his best friend, cousin and nephew as did the fake character Soprano. 

Submission by Italian sell-outs to the stereotype is why our American identifier has gone from real people like Giuliani and Cuomo to fictional people like Corleone.

MTV’s show “Jersey Shore” is less Stepin Fetchit and more Al Jolson’s black-face.  Jolson wasn’t black but pretending to be. Half the actors on “Jersey Shore” are not Italian, only pretending to be.  Reality show?  Certainly not.  Just actors playing a bigoted stereotype.

Did you ever wonder why the show never used the cast member’s last names?  Because half of them aren’t Italian, and MTV wanted to hide that.
 
The actor Ronnie’s last name is Ortiz.  The actor JWoww’s” last name is Farley. The actor Angelina’s last name is “Pivarnick” (what part of Italy is she from)?  And if you think “Snooki” is Italian, you’ve been snookered.  The bulbous little actress is Chilean.

Yet MTV had them pretending to be Italian by painting Italian colors on their garage and having the cast members discuss “Italian family values” (you know, in between all the casual sex and punching people).  Note that the cast members involved in violence weren’t Italian.

Some argue that “Guido” refers not to Italian ancestry, rather a lifestyle choice by people from many backgrounds.  But “Guido” is a quintessentially Italian name.  So when someone tans themselves orange and acts the fool, calling him “Guido” indicts Italians to the exclusion of the actual ethnicity of the clod who is acting that way.  If that lifestyle is not about being Italian, then call it something else.

Stereotypes are hurtful. What is most important for ethnic groups, Italians included, is to assimilate into America – to be thought of as Americans first and our ethnicity second. That being true, then each ethnic group has to obliterate old stereotypes. Culturally you can master the language, clothing, education, business and politics, but a stereotype will be the last lock on the door to assimilation if you can’t pick it. There will always be something that says “outsider” about a group with a widely accepted stereotype.

If you think this is a “sticks and stones” issue with the Italians protesting being soft skinned, you’re wrong.  The stereotype creates a genuine problem for people with Italian last names in courtrooms all over America.

Police and prosecutors have been known to give Italian defendants a nickname in quote marks in the middle of their name.  Even though the person doesn’t call himself that and none of his friends or family call him that, the nickname ends up in the indictment.  Why?  If the jury sees a nickname in quotes, the assumption is the Italian is involved in organized crime and is automatically guilty.  Fair trial?

I have an anecdotal story I often relate: Twenty years ago in when I was in law school, three students were in the next booth from me in a campus restaurant.  One said, “In criminal law we are studying a case where the defendants had these long Italian names.  They were soooo guilty!”  An Italian name = guilty.  Where do you suppose that law student is today?  A judge maybe?  A prosecutor?  A juror?

Hopefully Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino or the 3 other Jersey Shore cast members with Italian surnames (Paul DelVecchio, Sammi Giancola and Vincent Guadagnino) never find themselves in front of a jury where their last names make them soooo guilty.

Hopefully, they will realize that they are adding to that problem, and someone in their family may end up in front of such a jury one day and lose because of what MTV is doing to enforce the Italian stereotype.

I’d rather see them repent. There is still time for every actor on “Jersey Shore” to tell MTV, “I’m sorry I let you talk me into this.  I’m sorry I embarrassed the Italian diaspora.  I’m not doing it anymore.”

They’d be beloved in their own communities if they did, and their popularity would soar.

Comments

[coach sale]

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware - beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Angie's Pizzeria and Nail Salon, Providence, RI]

The Italian "diaspora"? Are you f___ kidding? The Italians were violently run off their homeland and forced to settle in alien cultures like the Jews? (Who were smashed to bits by the Romans [Italians] by the way!) What an intellectual fraud you are. You're comical.

The Italians came here for money! Nothing wrong with that.

This is the whole problem with the Ital-Amer Anti-Def "community " -- as you you would have it, yok, yok -- you give true racial bias a pass by your witless self pity.

Here's another way to help you think about it. How would you like to be Lithuanian? Nobody cares about the Lithuanian mob. An Icelandic mafia movie? Would put everyody to sleep. A power struggle between the five families in French Quebec? There's no Quebecois De Niro!

There's not going to be any "Shoot the Belgian" attraction on the boardwalk. These ethnic groups bore people. Buy you are of red-hot Italian blood!! Embrace it!

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Angie's Pizzeria and Nail Salon, Providence, RI]

I'ma sorry. I make-a a typo. Not "buy you are a red blooded etc" it'sa "but you are etc). Mi dispiac'

[Tommy De Seno]

Bruno I hope when the dog catcher puts you in the kennel, they don't show prejudice and lead you to the front of the line to be "put down" because you are Italian.

Oh, and as to your objection to using the term "diaspora" with respect to Italians, you might want to learn your Italian history - ours was the largest mass migration in modern history:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_diaspora

Facts Burno.

Learn them.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Angie's Pizzeria and Nail Salon, Providence, RI]

Dear Stunad,

You know as well as I do the term diaspora is used to denote the forced wanderings of the Jews. They didn't leave their old country voluntarily in mass numbers to find a new land in which to open nail salons, hero sandwich shops and press Tony Bennet albums.

Tom, don't worry about me being taken our first to be "put down" because I am Italian. I'm way too valuable to the authorities here at the vivisection lab. I handle the sports book that services the chimps, I have a sweet thing going bringing in illegal steak bones. Catnip? Forget it. There isn't a f____ Siamese or tabby getting high here without me and my associates. And as far as hits for hire on rats, we do that too. You wouldn't believe what a rhesus monkey just put into my kick to take care of a white rat down on the 5th floor. Done.

Tom, tell me this -- how come you know each and every one of Tony Sopranos perfidies? And in detail too. You list them better than the HBO web site. What's up with that?

[Rick]

Perfect article. Spot on piece about the plight of the widely stereotyped Italian. Reason why the media gets away with it is that we are individuals by nature. We are too busy discovering America and splitting the atom to defend ourselves. And by the way, that Einstein guy? Ripped off E=MC2 from DiPietro. And Bell, he stole the telephone from Meucci. We know who we are. If the media plays hate games, everyone knows that the 4th estate is a lying mob of its own.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Angie's Pizzeria and Nail Salon, Providence, RI]

Rick,

But Brooklyn mob boss Joe Columbo, who founded the whole Italian anti-defamation thing to get the Feds off his back, stole the idea from the NAACP. So you see, it works both ways. Whadya gonna do?

And by the way, if you're a kid or something and don't know he founded it, research it. And here's the beauty part -- he got whacked at an Italian Anti-Defamation rally protesting mob stereotypes! His internal enemies( I forget -- the Profaci's or somebody?) got some black stooge to be the trigger man and guess what? I know you'll find this shocking. That patsy was blown away on the spot in seconds, according to plan, by "law abiding Italian Americans" " who just happened to be strapped with 9mms and 38s. And intelligent people are supposed to take this crap seriously?

[Tommy De Seno]

Bruno,

Even in the face of presented facts, you are still going to state that "diaspora" is a word reserved just for Jewish expulsion? There was no African expulsion or Palestinian expulsion?

And that 25 million people fled Italy (the current population of Iraq) from famine, poverty and fascism does not in your mind qualify as a forced displacement leading to a dispersement of Italians (thus the name "diaspora?")

You'd do better to admit it when you are wrong. It detracts from credibility when you don't (yours is in a negative number at this point).

Also:

If you cite Lansky's bad deeds, does that give you license to insult Jews constantly as immoral criminals?

If you cite Machine Gun Kelly's bad deeds, does that give you license to insult the Irish constantly as immoral criminals?

I could ask the same for the Chinese mob, the Russian mob, etc. None of them should define their cultures, but the media allows the Joe Columbos of the world to define Italians.

That's my point. Not sure why that point bothers you. Are you somehow invested in the continued demonizations of Italians? Do you find your world to be a better place with it?

Also, Columbo's Italian anti-defamation league was a legit organization that even had the support of members of Congress.

It also died about a year after Columbo did, so your assertion that me or anyone else is operating under the auspices of that group is your usual sloppy fact machine at work.

Go chew a bone, puppy.

[Pat Joseph]

Bruno,

You bitter, self-loathing wretch. Whats the matter sweetheart, did you hate your father or your mother, or your uncle Tony, etc., etc. If so may I suggest that you seek counseling in an effort to resolve your inner demons.

Pat Joseph

[Tyrunn]

Sorry Tommy, your ignorance peaked with:

"The problem is that "Guido" is a quintessentialy Italian name".

I'm sure you, (as an educated man), would realise the most famous Guido is Gudo Fawkes, an Englishman who took the name whilst fighting with the Spanish!

Oh, and the name is actually Germanic in origin, (from the name "Wido") - so one could make the argument that you're really only taking offense as an American because it gives you something to write about and feel all put upon.

So Tommy, surely you should not be sticking up for the Italians, but rather the Ancient Germanic people - I expect your article to be corrected promptly and support of the Germans in full.

[Tyrunn]

Also, Tommy - I believe this to be one of the greatest misquotes in the history of poor journalism:

"I have an anecdotal story I often relate: Twenty years ago in when I was in law school, three students were in the next booth from me in a campus restaurant. One said, “In criminal law we are studying a case where the defendants had these long Italian names. They were soooo guilty!” An Italian name = guilty. Where do you suppose that law student is today? A judge maybe? A prosecutor? A juror?"

So, they were reviewing a case, wherein the defendants had Italian names - did you know why they said "They were soooo guilty!" perhaps they knew the outcome, perhaps the evidence was stacked against them, perhaps they were racist.

Can you, Tommy, with ANY certainty say which it was?

Did one of them say, "this guy had an Italian name, he must be guilty"?

No, you just decided to shoehorn in something from two decades ago from something you "overheard" out of context.

Bravo.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Angie's Pizzeria and Nail Salon, Providence, RI]

Mr. De Senno

I was gratified and moved to see your sympathy for the Palestinians. The diaspora that tugs at my heart, as it must yours, is the Mexican diaspora going on at our Southern border.

PS -- I have never accused you or any current Italian-American anti-dematiion enthusiast of being mobbed up. I was relating the comical founding history of the movement as a whole. And the fact that "some" Congressmen were behind Joe C only makes it more of a chuckle. Thanks for the info.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Angie's Pizzeria and Nail Salon, Providence, RI]

Dear Pat Joseph,

Tyrunn is completely right about Tommy's famous diner-booth expose. There is nothing in what the other party said that proves he was linking lawlessness with Italian DNA or culture. Those defendants in the trial may in fact have been guilty. Perhaps they had even been found guilty. De Senno doesn't know. They had Italian surnames. So what? De Senno was hearing racism because he wanted to hear racism.

As for me, I had a wonderful Italian-American upbringing by fine parents. Why defame my parents or my Uncle Tony? What would make you leap to such conclusions about familial violence and dysfunction? My Uncle Tony was a priest -- uh-oh, maybe I said the wrong thing there. Anyway, your assumptions are unfounded.

[Tommy De Seno]

@Tyrun: The website where you found a Germanic connection between Guido and Wido lists the etymology of Guido as Italian first.

Nice try.

Even if you where right (you aren't) we aren't talking about ancient times. We are talking about today, and today Guido is certainly Italian, not German.

Besides, when you hear Guido, do Germans really pop into your brain?

@Bruno-dog: You and Tyrun have to be kidding about the dinner booth conversation.

Why don't you go to a predominately ethnic neighborhood and deliver the same line, substituting that ethnicity for Italain.

See if they split hairs as you are.

[Tyrunn]

Tommy,

No, I'm not kidding - please tell me what proof you have about those disgusting accusations you've placed against two people who haven't the ablity to defnd themselves - I notice you went to law school, (at least in this fantasty you've releated to us) - you must no something about actually proving things you say?

And no, as I stated in my previous post, the thing I think of whenever I hear the name Guido is "Guido Fawkes" - who got his name fighting with the SPANISH.

You're xenophobic feelings towards white people aside - it must be a scary, dark world you live in.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Angie's Pizzeria and Nail Salon, Providence, RI]

Tom-tom,

Bruno is a German name.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Angie's Pizzeria and Nail Salon, Providence, RI]

Tommy,

To quote one of your Italian-Amierican heroes, Robert De Niro, as Jake La Motta in that deep and wonderful tale of Italian American family life, Raging Bull --

"You're a clever guy, Joey. You keep giving me answers but you don't answer the question I axed you -- did you f_____ Vicki?"

In your case the question you don't answer is, did you watch the Sopranos on a regular or semi-regular basis? Yes or no? How come you know so much about years of plot points?

[Tyrunn]

Bruno, I shouldn't bother.

It seems to be a re-occuring theme in the comments: Tommy will answer if he has some pithy comeback or made up "this happened to me" story he can use.

If he's asked a question wherein he'd appear silly or two faced or out of his depth, he just vanishes for a week or so.

Sad really.

[Tommy De Seno]

Bruno and Tyrunn:

Would you expect a person to criticize something without having seen it?

In the spirit of "know thy enemy" I certainly watched enough of the Sopranos and Jersey Shore to make an informed decision. Particularly as the complaints poured in about the shows made by others in the Italian American "diaspora."

You two remind my of all those Democrat congresspersons who did not read the Health Insurance bill, but had nothing but contempt for the criticism of Tea Partiers who did sit down and read the bill.

Now let me ask you two a question, to which you should have volunteered an answer the moment you posted here:

Do you support "Shoot the Guido" as a game, and would you support "Shoot the Nigger, Kike, Spic and Chink?"

Don't cop out and say you are indifferent. Don't even come back here if you are going to run away from debate with that cop out.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Bella Napoli Bikini Waxing Salon (next door to Angelo's Pizza, Providence, RI]

Fool that I am, I just took (wasted) forty-five minutes writing a response and then was told I couldn't post because Safari "could not accept this data". What is that?

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Bella Napoli Bikini Waxing Salon (next door to Angelo's Pizza, Providence, RI]

Why did the above sort post get through and not the other?? Is there some kind of content you are blocking? I doubt it and hope not.

[Tommy De Seno]

Must be on your end Bruno.

I don't even have anything set up to stop the spam that I keep getting from Coach bags.

Now you can tell people we Italians aren't computer literate, either.

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Bella Napoli Bikini Waxing Salon (next door to Angelo's Pizza, Providence, RI]

No way. The web is used extensively in sports books and offshore money laundering.

I saved what I wrote but I need to find out if I can attach it to a new post. I don't want to redo the whole thing. The short version is no I don't support shoot the Guido and of course I wouldn't support shoot the spic, Jew or chink which you well know so stop with the 8th grade rhetorical flourishes. You insult your own intelligence, not mine.

[Tommy De Seno]

Bruno if you don't support "Shoot the Guido" then why in the world would you come after my post with such vitriol?

Aren't we on the same side for once?

[Bruno the italian dog, Brown Uinversity Medical School or c/o Bella Napoli Bikini Waxing Salon (next door to Angelo's Pizza, Providence, RI]

Mr. De Senno,

It's all in my post which wouldn't send but retypying it is a drag. By the way, this is not the first post which wouldn't go through and your Comments thing has been slow to load. I'm only telling you this because I don't have the problem elsewhere and maybe others trying to access you are having it too. I have no idea why or what. I'm no Olivetti.